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  1. ‘Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair’ cries the lovelorn knight, seeing the beautiful maiden high on the staircase.
    ‘Oh brave knight, I will,’ cried the maiden (for the knight was a massive Aussie whose breakfast is allocated its own zip code)
    Then the fair Rapunzel did let down her tresses, which were a cascade of pulsating puce, shimmering turquoise, and heliotrope.
    The bold knight, dazzled by the rainbow colours of the cords of Rapunzel’s hair, found his head beginning to spin. He wobbled alarmingly before upchucking his breakfast into the lake.
    ‘Jesus, Rapunzel, what’s wrong with blonde like the other Sheilas?’ cried the Brave knight, wiping his armour clean of smears of Marmite and shredded wheat.
    ‘Alas, brave knight, I am exploring my artistic freedom. Can you not climb my beautful hair?’
    ‘Nah. I reckon they’re hair extensions, and I’ll fall to my bloody death. Tell you what, I’ve got the ute round the back. I’ll chuck a quick U-ey and reverse up to the back door. Open a couple of tinnies and wait for me there.’
    And they lived happily ever after.

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